My mother has always had a lot of personality that is hard to suppress. As I'm sure you've noticed, there are people who are pleasant but generic, and then there are people who really stand out and never seem to have uninteresting days. The latter would be my mother. She has a lot of attitude--but not in a bitchy way, she simply just doesn't take any crap.
Before she birthed me, she worked as a waitress at a southern place called Hal & Mal's. There was a regular who came in probably once or twice a week, and he had told her that one day he, being a writer, would make a character to reflect her. He brought a friend in once who had never been to Hal & Mal's, and he was kinda whiny. He started off by attempting to order some bread pudding, asking my mother if it was any good. "It's the best bread pudding in the south, sir," my mother said. He said, "Does it have any raisins? 'Cause I hate raisins. I once had bread pudding with raisins and it turned my stomach. It better not have any raisins." My mother responded with "Sir, if you find a raisin in your bread pudding, it ain't a raisin. Now can I get you a bowl?" Lulz were had. She was a southern-style Flo. She has also done many crazy things that we like to relive often. Like the time a certain fast food place that has a redhead as the mascot, they gave her the wrong sandwich and refused to exchange it. She went and sat down in defeat, and then decided she wasn't going to eat the damn sandwich, so she threw the sandwich toward the kitchen, catching the top of the door frame, causing mayonnaise and lettuce flak to spray into the kitchen. Good times indeed.
Her most recent endeavor has been an online dating site. It's pretty entertaining to see her get excited about all the men that are interested in her. "195 new matches!!" is something she liked to shout out. She started off by reading all the advice columns on the site, trying to get an edge. That was a month ago, but by now she's lost her enthusiasm. Upon seeing a headline that read Do you know what men want? Find out what they really want., my mother said "Huh...I don't give a shit what they want." But hope is not lost, for she has found a friend in a southern gentleman...a very southern gentleman. Cowboy hat, boots, jeans, and he owns 35 head of cattle and works as a trucker. She was very tickled with him, and after she showed me a message he left on her phone, I can see why. I'll give you a sample in southern format so you can get an idea of how he talks. The message starts with Vury pretty...vury pretty. Lawng legs, pretty blon' hair. You the only woman in <state> that makes the peacock feathers fly! Lord have mercuh, lemmuh say it again. You the only woman in <state> that makes the peacock feathers fly! That's a complemunt, not a come on. Yeah, you try not to giggle when you hear it.That's all for now, but I'm proud that I've never once felt embarrassed with either of my parents. I'm fortunate to actually have cool parents. I certainly never take them for granted.
Forgive any grammar/spelling errors, I'm tired of taking half an hour on posts trying to make sure it's perfect. I'm not writing a novel.
